Ramblings of the Unstable

So it seems like so many people are getting engaged.  This scared thee shit out of me.  I wouldn’t say I have a fear of commitment but at the young age of just 21, the thought of marriage has not even crossed my mind. Not seriously at least.  I mean I’ve thought about it as every girl has, but I don’t see that in my near future. Yet there are people my age who are taking that next step.  That’s all an dandy but I can’t help but question why.  To each it’s own I suppose.  

In my opinion, I don’t think people should settle down so young.  I’m a firm believer in sowing your wild oats. For me that includes traveling…partying…kickin it! All of this without the worry of having to report back to someone.  I want to experience things in life that you need to do while you’re single because doing them while you’re tied down won’t give you the same experience.  I think this comes from my mother as well.  She settled down with my father at the age of 18 and 10 years later was over it because she didn’t live life before she settled down.  I don’t want to do that.  I want to get everything out of my system before I get married so I won’t live with any regrets. 

While I don’t agree with settling down so early, I suppose if you find that person then you feel like why wait? Maybe it’s that I haven’t found that person. But I just want to live life to the fullest and then settle down….then live life to the fullest some more with my husband.  But forever is a long time so I don’t mind getting a slightly late start on it.  

I’ve started a new tumblr…well it’s connected to this one so you may be able to see it.  If so, let me know. If not follow it! http://lustingtolove.tumblr.com 

Thanks!! 

A picture that makes you laugh

So I was leaving out of my chorus class my senior year of high school and waked upstairs to find this on a locker.  First, yes…those are underwear on someone’s locker. Second, the note left was even funnier! I do believe it read “Dave, You left this at my house Saturday. We have to be more careful about these things. My dad is putting ???, Love (not sure).

I’m not sure if this was a prank or serious (you never know at alma mater) but one thing for sure is I crack up every time I see this picture.

Yea i forgot to do one yesterday….but I was in a bad mood so I’m doing both days today! judge me lol 

Day 7 is supposed to be a picture of your closest treasure. Well I chose this picture because it shows me giving out my closest treasure to a friend. My Love.  A treasure is something you should hold on to right? But what’s the use of being selfish? I love to share so i share my treasure, my love with everyone.  It’s the most precious thing I have to give. 

I mean…who wouldn’t want to trade places with this?!  Only concern is who’s going to feed me when I’m hungry. She has no responsibility whatsoever.  She doesn’t even have to be responsible for going to the bathroom! She just pooped on herself and waits for you to clean it up. Oh to rewind time. Not have a care in the world….just laying there being a-freaking-dorable! I want to spend a day as Chloe…my beautiful little diva of a niece! 

My Favorite Memory 

This was my last day in L.A.  I’d gone to the funeral of my great grandmother who’d live a long, full life.  My parents decided that we would just stay a week and enjoy LA since we’d be out there.  At LAX I saw one of my favorite dancers from So You Think You Can Dance Ade!! The week was extremely fun and meeting my favorite dancer that season was the icing on the cake. 

All of the NIGHTS! This picture marks one of the best summer days/nights of my life.  I chose this picture because this day/night was so random….yet fun. That’s usually how my nights are when I go out. I just never know where I’ll end up next and I love just going with the flow. My night = randomness. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My most favoritest tv show is………

LAW & ORDER: SVU  …..Law & Order is cool and Criminal Intent is more like the red headed step child of the Law & Order Family, but SVU has absolutely has to be the best show ever! I think this post is quite fitting seeing as though every Tuesday you’re guaranteed to find a Law &Order: SVU marathon on USA. No matter how many times I’ve seen an episode, I still watch it like I’ve never seen it before! If you haven’t watched this show, you are truly missing out!

Ok y’all i’m gonna try it again….so here goes Day 2…..MY MOMMY!! 

I mean who else could I have been to closest with the longest? She knew me before I knew myself. We have our ups and downs and fight but my mom is definitely the closest person to me.  The only person on this Earth who knows the most (but def not everything!) about me. 

Hello loves…..first off let me say I absolutely failed at the 30 day photo challenge. I honestly tried to do it however this new setting on facebook with their pictures has made it difficult for me drag and drop (by not letting me do it at all) soooo yea…I’m gonna do it when I feel like doing the extra steps to extract the pics. 

****Back to Your Regular Scheduled Blogging**** 

Inspiration for this post just randomly came as I browsed facebook.  I stumbled across a photo of my original group of friends from freshman year of college. We were the Fab Five. All of us graduated from the same high school.  One I’d known since 5th grade, another since 7th, another since freshman year of high school.  The fourth one was more of an associate but we grew pretty close when we got to college (especially considering that we lived in the same res hall). We were a close knit group of friends….well for a couple months at least.  Since then our friendship has been a rollercoaster.  Unfortunately, I didn’t enjoy this ride….so I got off.  

Over the past couple of years, I found myself missing them a bit.  One was even one of my best friends so it’s natural for me to feel this way right? But those who know the background story understands why I chose to separate myself. Recently we’ve all become cool again and I can say that i’m happy about that. But as I looked at pictures of them…I began to remember just why it was that I separated myself to begin with. They often referred to themselves as the Fab Four and talked about how it’s always just been them four.  I was a little offended at first then I realized they were right.  I ALWAYS felt like an outsider. And perhaps that’s just what I was.  There was never truly a Fab Five….but the Fab Four will always live on. 

I was sad about this at first until I realized that I had the most amazing group of friends ever.  We may not all attend the same school, but how many people can say they have kept in touch with their friends who are spread (literally) across the country. Well I can. From California to Virginia. I even have a BFF whom I’ve been friends with for almost 20 years! And I’ve made a made a couple wonderful friends here that are more than AMAZING! I’m bi-winning! Most people are lucky to find one true friend. I’m rich in friendship! 

Then I have friends who’ve come and gone.  Reasons, seasons and lifetime right? Shout out to the friends who dragged my name through dirt.  Shout out to the friends who turned against me and turned other people against me in the process. Special shout out to the friend that slept with my dude and cuddled up and had girl talk with me the same night.  Trife Life.  I never retaliated but karma is a bigger bitch than I could ever be.  Sleep with one eye open.

Point of post? I love my wonderfully amazing friends!! Yep…that’s it! :) 

1. I am the only child.  It’s a bittersweet thing. And no I’m not spoiled. Don’t ask. 
2. I loooooove to talk. I can talk to just about anyone at all.  I have been told so many times that I’m mean which I don’t get cuz I love people. 
3. I’m very artistic but my logical side won’t let me pursue them for real.  So I keep my creative hobbies and became complacent with that. Sell out huh?
4. Lately, I’ve been feeling real fly. Like really feeling myself. I think it’s my hair cut. Either way I’m embracing it.
5. I have a fan club…or at least that’s what I’ve been told. They need not to hype my head up. It’s big enough.
6. I’m very open. Sometimes too open. My real friends know I’ll share just about anything….no matter how gross lol. 
7. I love Common. Period. 
8. I’m a half an inch shy of 5 feet and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’m 5’3.5/4” in my highest heels though! 
9. I was arrested once. Don’t ask. haha.
10. I believe I can do anything I put my mind to. At least that’s what my mama told me. #MyMamaTaughtMe!

Fin.

Ever think about who your sexual partners have ever slept with?  When you go get tested, they always say imagine that each person you’ve slept with has slept with 10 people, and each of those 10 with 10, and so on and so forth.  I mean if you do that, then everyone who has had sex has exchanged sexual fluids with someone else in this world and possible even someone that you’re related to.  That grosses me out! Eww. 

But it’s somethat that scares me even more…..

…..finding out you slept with someone who’s on the downlow.

(insert horror movie scream)

Now I haven’t personally experienced this but I found myself wondering if I could have been one of the many women fooled by one of these closeted brothers.  This thought came about as I was answering the questionnaire to give blood.  Up pops the question “Have you have ever had sex with a male who’s had sex with a male?” Pause. No? I don’t think so?  Seriously, how do we even really know anymore?  I like to think my gay-dar is rather proficient, however, even I have been fooled by a few.  I find myself examining every dude I meet extra carefully now.  I don’t want to even entertain a dude who is sitting on the fence. 

I think if I ever found out I’d slept out with a dude who’d slept with a dude, I’d scrub my vagina raw. No but seriously. -_- 

If you’re a dude and you’re reading this and you’re on the fence and want to try both sides…do us women a favor and pick us first if you have to do both.  Then go to dudes.  But don’t try coming back.  We don’t want you have another dude has had you.  You’re damaged goods. Sorry.  

So I was watching this movie “Beauty and the Briefcase”, yea it’s a lame movie but bad movies are a guilty pleasure of mine. But anyway in this movie the main character played by Hilary Duff, had this list of things she wanted her perfect man to have.  It was composed of 10 qualities like sexy foreign accent and wants to travel on the wim.  

While hers seemed a little outlandish, it got me thinking about what qualities I would want my perfect man to have.  Every girl has dreamed up what their prince charming will be like, handsome, fit. Some may want him to be a singer while others may be attracted to service people. (ooo i LOVE a man in uniform!!)   While there’s no such thing as perfection, I still decided to make my own little list.  I even plan on comparing the guys that I’ve dated before to it see how they match up. So here goes…

1. Must be a Christian.  This is one trait that I won’t budge on.  How can we be married in Holy matrimony if our religions differ or if we are unevenly yolked? Plus I come from a strong Christian background and I plan on raising our future children the same way. 

2. I’d like for him to be tall.  Well, I’m attracted to tall guys. Which is funny because I stand at a full 4 feet and 11.5 inches. Yes. .5. Don’t forget it.  And while I’m shorter than the average female, I like to date taller guys.  Most guys I’ve dated have been 6 feet and above.  I guess they say opposites attract.  And we do make funny looking CUTE couples. :) 

3. A singer would be great.  I love music.  I love to sing (and I’m not half bad…or so I like to think). And a man that sings would be great.  I’d instantly fall in love though.  Seriously, I’d be under the spell of his enticing notes. *Swoon* 

4. Fashionable. I like to get all dolled up and look good and so I want someone who knows how to get dressed too.  We should compliment each other.  I need for you to be able to match my fly whether it be casual or classy.  I like to look good.  U should too.

5. Sense of humor.  Seriously though, my family will Jone on you and so you need to be able to roll with the punches.  That means he needs to have a sense of humor and be able to keep up and hit right back! If not, family gatherings will be extremely uncomfortable for him.

6. A car.  Now, I have a car and I expect you to have what I have at least.  Besides, I like to get picked up.  I mean are you really taking me out if I’m picking you up??  

7. Ambition.  Know what you want out of life and have a plan of action.  Let me see you working toward that goal. It’s great to have big plans, but what are you doing to make this plans come to pass. Show me that ambition!! 

8. Low hair cut.  Seriously though. There is nothing more attractive that a guy with a fresh cut and a sharp lining. OW! It’s just that simple. 

9. Don’t call women a b*tch.  This is the quickest way for me to find the sexiest man on Earth unattractive. Calling a woman out of her name (especially repeatedly) says to me that you don’t respect the female specie and therefore you can’t respect me.  And of course, I won’t be with anyone who doesn’t respect me. 

10. Don’t smoke.  Ok, I can deal with a weed smoker.  Who smokes occasionally.  But you should even grow out of that.  But cigarettes are a no-go.  I hate them cancer sticks with a passion.  I don’t want you to smell like them and i don’t want that smell stuck all in my hair.  Kissing an ashtray. GROSS!! I’m good on that. 

Now I’ll be honest, it took me a while to come up with 10 definite traits I want in a guy and I’m even willing to bend on a couple of those. These are just things I found I wanted in guys based on past dating experience.  

Of course the hopeless romantic in me thinks that true love may not have any of these qualities (except be a Christian..not bending on that one) and I’ll still love them until the end of time.  Y’all know I’m a sap. Sue me! lol 

Anywho….make your own list. No matter how silly it is.  I’m know I’m gonna look back and laugh on this like a 5 years…maybe even a year.  Still nice to have an idea of the traits I’m looking (or not looking) for. 

cleanirene:

and they look back at you like…

And then you’re like…

You have got to love African American women and their versatility, especially when it comes to hair.  We can rock short hair, long hair, curly hair, straight hair. And still look fly while doing it.  We don’t have to wash our hair everyday or every other day.  THANK GOD. Cuz I’d be that girl you talked about because she didn’t wash her hair everyday.  I mean really? Who the hell wants to do that EVERYDAY?!  Anyway…point is, we can rock all types of hair and still look fab!  

Whatever style you choose to do rock it and love it! I’ve done it all! I’ve had a relaxer, worn hair that wasn’t grown from my own head and been natural.  Turns out I didn’t like being natural as much as I thought I would. Others loved my curls. I hated them and my thin ass edges that I was cursed with. But with each style, I held my head high and still dressed fly! Confidence is key when making any look work for you.  And I’ve been through a few….

Long Hair Don’t Care 

#TeamNatural 

back Long…curly this time #doe

Today, I’m proud to have made my way back to my short relaxed hair.  After all the other styles I’ve tried, this is the one I love the most.  Short, relaxed hair makes me feel like I’m the baddest girl in the world. It enhances my own self image and well….I love it.  This is me. 

I still love to change my look up every once in a while though so if I want longer hair I can always make a trip to my local beauty supply. #NoShame

What’s your style?